psychotic

hmmm…yesterday was my birthday..i thought it would just be an ordinary day..i wasn’t even thrilled that day…the whole day i watched eat bulaga, kambal sa uma and switching again to paano ba mangrap and then precious hearts romance…while watching precious hearts romances, I received a txt message from a friend he said, “khulit dili ka mag laag unya? so i told him may be not…he replied back “laag lang gud…mag hulat mi sa imo”so i said ok..and of course I went..but before seeing him..I went to Marmie’s apartment, chattin with her some stuff and then we went to ate our dinner..after that we went around downtown..and went back to the apartment and we part ways afterward..and so i went to see my friends but not the one who txted me…after visiting some friends I went to that person who txted me…and he said “khulit happy bday sabay ta karon ha..” i said ok..mao bitaw ni adto ko diri kay ingon hulat mo…he just laughed after i said that.. -ma bisaya sa ko wui kapoy na english- ahahah… so mao to nag hulat ko mi sa iyang mga friends nga na friends na sad nako..and we talkked, chikka and all..hantod nga nag sirado na c nikki sa ilang tindahan…ug sa dihang wa ko kabalo unsay plano so ni ask ko niya aha mi padulong ana pud siya surprise daw..ahehehe..na surprise jud ko kay grabe ni adto mi sa among tambayan..ug sa dihang surprise jud diay luto diay si nikki sa iyang specialty na leeg sa manok na gi prito…wa…first time jud nako mag eat ato…and so grabe daghan kaau mga kingkoy moments..ahehe..and nag change venue daun mi..nag dagat…ahaha…lingawa jud nako wui…wala ko nag expect man gud na ing-ato kay murag bag-o lang kaha mi nag ila tapos ingato na daun ilang gi buhat sa akong bday..ahaha…aw…c kuya oding kay alingasa kaau cge balik² ug khulit tsokolate kabalo ka pallanga kaau ka namo..kay ikaw ba ya among manghud² sa group..aheheh…wow..hahaha…daghan na nako ug kuya wui…ahehe…bitaw salamat jud sa inyo kuya oding, kuya patty, kuya e.r, kuya brian, wife ni kuya bria, nakalimot ko sa uban and specially kay nikk timang..ahehe…salamat jud…so far mao pa ni ang pinaka d best na bday….salamat…

Special Girl –

Its the ridaz (yeah)
im looking for that special girl
my super woman

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is she really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
looking for that special girl

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is he really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
let me be his special girl

cant wait to see your face and the way that you smile
the one to hold tight when your days are down
if you need a shoulder you can count on me
thats the kind of man that i wanna be
are you out there let me know i searched the whole wide world
until i find that someone
my special girl
if you know who you are just make yourself see
i need that super woman that only exists in my dreams
keep you warm and close kiss from your head to your toes
as our feelings keep growing and will never get old
take a chance with my love baby i want you so bad
cause real love is something that i never had
i know ill find you someday
my heart will never give up
soon we will be together and no longer apart
’til that day it comes
ill be searching for you
just remember pretty girl
this ridaz loves you

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is she really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
looking for that special girl

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is he really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
let me be his special girl

i need someone who’s gonna be there for me
a real woman who understands, and loves and respects a man
and knows sometimes that i cant be at home
ill never lie and deceive you always trust and believe you
are you really out there i need to know
im tired of the lonely nights
cause all i want is a happy home
and to see you and me smiling
for the whole world to see
cause all i really need
someone who’s gonna ride for me
no matter the situation that we facing
you’ll be by my side
ready to lay it all on the line
all im asking for is your love and affection
your hugs and kisses just to know you miss me when im gone
and when i need you the most you’re just a phone call away
my best friend on the other end
telling me everything will be okay

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is she really out there i need to know
cause my whole life i’ve searched the whole world
looking for that special girl

is he really out there i need to know
i’ve been sittin’ and waitin’ here all alone
Turn my dreams into reality
Lord i’ve been waiting patiently
someone to hold me when im afraid
to protect me and comfort me everyday
to stand by me and believe in me
Forever on my knees i pray

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is she really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
looking for that special girl

Dear lord
on my knees can you hear my prayers
is he really out there i need to know
cause my whole life ive searched the whole world
let me be his special girl

Yeah, Lord, just help me find her
You’re my special girl
I know you’re out there
_______________________________________________________

this song is one of my favorite….try to listen na lang…

Yesterday evening was a magical night that I   never expected. It was a moment to remember, after 2 years of no communication I did not expect that what I dream of will became into reality.

Let me give you a little background…hmm.. When I was on my 3rd yr college, I met this guy through our common friends, we met through MIRC since, YM at that time is not so popular, his friends and my friends are all connected to each other. Everyday I’m online since its free, I can eat while I chat…ahehe…so we exchanged phone numbers and for a while we exchanged sms’s but we often communicate in the net..and then later on we became close that whatever problems and secrets we have we often talk about it and it came to a point that we developed feelings to each other and then we decided to move to the next level..ahaha…aw..and then so we became a couple, our relationship gone through some rough times and smooth times..

When I had my OJT i decided that I would do it in Davao, 1st because I want to spend time with him and 2nd its a great experience for me to be away to be independent and to learn new things outside of my comfort zone..when i spend my OJT at Davao, he was their listening to my adventures at work, he fetches me from work and you know bringing me home..I mean at my Lolo’s place since its just walking distance from Bolton to Malvar..(mura xa ug Xavier padulong sa Maternity Hospital ana ra xa ka duol) and then we spend a happy time together, I also met his family. They were warm and I always felt welcome every time I visit their house even at the time when me and Adrian broke up..back to my story..after my OJT I went back to CDO..The next month when my birthday was approaching our relationship also was crumbling down..we had fights over the phone, crying nights but it was resolved after my birthday..it was at that time when they had some family problem, of course I understand him because he, was so close to his mom and at that time something happened to his mom..but it was settled..after many months it was good and December came..and our relationship again was crumbling down for some reason that he can’t take it anymore that me being away from him..(ka sweet)and so we had some arguments, he decided to break it off..it was 2 or 3 days away of our 1 yr anniversary..it was sudden but I already expected it, and so I agreed with him..kapoy na ma mugos sa tao nga dili na siya…but before we parted ways, we promised to each other na walay kalimtanay, and yes we did not forget each other. When suddenly he told me that he had a girlfriend, it was ok to me and I was happy for him at the same time it hurts inside..we still exchanged sms’s until his girlfriend(now ex–gf) was jealous and she told me to stop txting Adrian, and so I did stop txting him I even told him that he would erased my number so his girlfriend would be at ease at first he hesitated but I was able to convinced him..that was the last time I was able to txt him…

After 2 yrs. we were able to met again at the MIRC the same channel as before, we said our hi’s and hello’s, talking about what happened to him and to me also catching some news about our lives. I was about to go offline when he asked my number and of course gave it to him with my heart jumping up and down with enjoyment..hahahah…fortunately his using sun and I also using sun (charing)..so we again have communication and all…calling to each other…until recently I was able to asked him that if given a chance would there be a big possibility that we would be together and he said yes there is a BIG possibility (whew..ka kilig) when I hear his reply I told my self that I would wait for that moment.. Until this guy came he said he was so in love with me and I told him that I’m still in love with my ex..he was so persistent, he even knew Adrian since they have the same clan sa war rock.. Adrian knew that the guy was courting me, he even teased me to his clan mate but I always told him that it wont work since I’m still in love with him..last night the guy wanted my answer and still my answer was no and he asked why I told him that I don’t love him and I see him as a friend nothing more nothing less..and he told me that its ok and he believes that me and Adrian would be back together, pero gi ignan nako ang guy na basing mag balik mi pero dili pa karon..and he said to me na hapit na daw mahitabo and I asked him why he said so..mao daun  gi ignan daun ko niya na, when Adrian learned that he was courting me he told Mark that if possible dili idaun ni Mark ang pag court kay he wants me back pud…whew charness kaau…ahaha.. but still Mark continued but got busted..but before that I txted Adrian telling him that Mark wants my answer..and I asked Adrian if its ok with him na mag kami ni Mark and he said na its up to me…I answered him back if naa ba siya’y love para nako and he said yes and I asked him again if there still a chance na mag balik mi and he said yes..his answers gave me hope that there is still a chance and I told him that I will turn down Mark’s proposal and I’m willing to wait for the moment that we would be together again..and he replied back asking me if I really loved him, of course I still do love him and he asked me if their is no one else..and i told him their is no one else..I love only him…his reply was so dugay nakatulog na lang ko sa pag hulat and then my phone beep..and as i read he said “Lit mag balik na ta”..wa grabe ka OMG! I was shocked because I did not expect it..so I told him that I replied “pag sure wui..basing na pugos lang ka mao ng imo ng gi ingon..dili ko ganhan na mag balik ta tungod kay na pugos lang ka sa sitwasyon” and he said na wala daw siya na pugos..but his worried kay he might get jealous with the other guys..but I told him that he has no reason to be jealous because my heart belongs to him..and mao na daun to..aw..ahaha…I was happy…it was a really suprising that it happened..surely good things come to those who wait..aw…dili lang jud mag dali kay mo abot ra jud…Thanks hon..love you….

Oh I forgot to mention na if given a chance nga naay makig balik ang isa ka uyab nako I would choose him…because his the only guy who is very different from the rest…basta dili nako ma ingon ngano…different siya…kabalo na siya ngano different siya sa uban…ahehehehe….

Last thursday was my last final exam and its math(trigo)..ahahha…im slow when it comes to math..i have been taking this subject for three times..imagine that….hahah…anyway, MARCH is the month which every student been waiting for because this month is the judge month for those who are graduating..and i hate it because there will be togas all around…oh yeah im so jealous of them because, they finally made it. While me on the other hand is still hanging on…that’s reality..but of course I too want to graduate..but its ok because I’ve meet interesting people in my math subject..hahahah…some of them have been staying in xavier for 6 years…ahha…daghan nami…and last thursday was the most hmmm…joyful exam I have taken because people are so busy copying from each other..haha…i know its bad..cheating is bad…but for us who is slow in that area we really need help and specially if that subject is the ticket to ride…ahahha…aw…bitaw wui gusto na kaau mo graduate bha…dli pa jud sure kung maka summer class or dawaton pako sa xavier kay basi dili maka abot akong QPI..hahaiz…so sad…asa na lang akong future ani…but then again if ever XU wont accept me i have to try to ADDU….that’s my last hope…and if ever i go to ADDU ill make sure that my grades will all be A’s….Lord help….

hmmm…kuya andoi has been telling me ever to write new entry but unfortunately that time i dont know what to write about…even if i wanted to..but this day i decided to let my heart cry out…ahahah…it hurts but its ok..here it goes…have u remember my entry about mr. half crazy?well if yes then, this blog is about her insecure ex girlfriend who is still in love with him and eventually the one who courted mr. half crazy so that they could get back together..you may think i was jealous of course i was but i already expected it because he once told me that his ex is trying to pursue him again..when i knew that they got back together it hurts so bad buts it ok because i do not expect the one i loved will love me back..you may call it martyr but for me its not..from the day that i learned that they are together again  i did not send any sms on him or even try to contact him..one day i received an sms from him saying that his kinda mad because im not sending him any sms at all not like before so i told him frankly that why should i send him sms when she had already get back with his ex and i know that his ex is a jealous type kinda gurl and i don’t want to be the cause of their argument…and he said replied back that he doesn’t care about what her girlfriend thinks about,and so i told him that ill try to send some sms if i have the time..i only send him sms when he txt me first..ahaha…anyways…a week ago i read her gf’s comment that i should stop txting her bf..hello!? are u darn mad? im not the one who’s txting first..he should asked her bf about it?and besides we are friends..is it wrong to txt your bf friends? or just insecure girlfriend or your jealous because we are close to each other than you?oh yeah your beautiful than me no doubt about it but have you considered that your fortunate that he had forgiven you and taken you back after what you did?have you even think about it?your the one who caused him pain awhile back you left him with out a formal break-up because you left with your other man?and now your locking him as if he is your possession?and really i don’t like the way that you approach me…you should at least introduced yourself and be matured enough and politely enough to ask me not to contact him anymore…cursing and telling me that im a bitch doesn’t help!?who’s the bitch between the two of us?im not like who left my man hanging because of the other man!?who’s the whore now?wa sad nimo gi huna-huna noh nga ka laau nako and kamo duol ra kaau..your so stupid not think about that….for me he doesn’t deserve you but fortunately his to merciful for you..that he given you a chance…hahahah….lahi ra sad ka kay ikaw na jud ang naguyab sa imong ex-bf para lang magbalik mo…and sa sunod before ka mangaway pangutana sa daan kung kinsa una ga txt ha..ayaw cge pataka ug storya diha..anyways God bless to the both of  you..

yesterday was my fathers birthday, its my family’s tradition to eat ice cream on our birthday’s. But yesterday my sister forgot to buy ice cream because she thought that today will be my father’s birthday but thank God she remembreit yesterday and so she asked my older brother to buy ice cream, and its his pleasure to pick the ice cream flavor. WHile waiting for my brother to arrive, kuya andoi called and told me he was eating at Jolibee, Talisay but sadly I was not envious of him eating at Jolibee because that moment Im waiting for my favorite deserts..ahehhehe…and so my brother arrived with the ice cream in his hands..the ice cream was so yummy and taste good because it was made by selecta..nyaha..all ice cream taste good though…and so i ate for 2 rounds before I stop so that my brothers also have their share in the ice cream..ahehe…

What a great film indeed at first as i read the title and with brad pitt on it, i thought it would be just another action movie but i was wrong. My sister and my cousin went to d.v soria because they wanted to have a movie marathon that night, and then we went, I was not with them when they bought it so obviously I went with my own way and we saw each other at a particular place and we ate ice cream sponsored by my girl and my boy..ahehehe..anyway, i was curious what they bought that night and as I was lookin, I was curious why it is titled “The curious case of Benjamin Button” but I just ignored the dvd because I have other agenda that night..several days after I have the luxury of watchin all the dvd’s that my sister bought and the first one that interest me was this..and then i watched…the movie started with a man workin in a clock, and several days after his son went to the battle field and later on, learned that his son died on the war and he continued working in the clock. At the day of the clock to be placed in the train station in New Orleans the people wondered why the clock works backwards and he explained that  it is to bring  back the people who died, and the movie changes it scene to the modern New Orleans before hurricane Katrina hit the place. There was a woman in her old age lying in the hospital bed near to her death, the old woman which was played by Cate Blanchett told this story to her daughter Caroline, and she then requested her daughter to read a diary, her daughter did not know that the diary she was reading belonged to her later father Benjamin Button which she was once knew as a family friend. Benjamin Button played by Brad Pitt which suit well in the movie, was born in unusual circumstance, he was born old, her mother died while giving birth to Benjamin, his father who was shocked at looking at him or shall we say ashamed to look at him becuase of his appearance decided to abondon his child and he then placed the baby on a nursing home. In the nursing home a black couple found the baby, the couple has no child on thier own because the woman cannot concieved on her own, the woman decided to adopt the baby and named him Benjamin.  Benjamin as growing up looked old for as he aged back, as he grows old he looked younger. In his life Benjamin wandered things on earth, he even fall inlove with a married woman, but after a time he was then inlove with Daisy his long time  friend, Daisy is a famous ballet dancer an later realized that she loved benjamin but afraid to admit to her feelings.  And later they married each other and have a daugther, as thier daughter turned one year old Benjamin decided to leave for he is afraid that he won’t be able to be a real father to her daughter, it was painful for him and to daisy but it was a choice he made. As the film continues Benjamin getting older but getting younger on his looks.  At the later end of the movie I cried because it teaches us that  “Life isn’t measured in minutes, but in moments” (tagline in the movie). It doesn’t matter how old you are, how young/old you look but it matters on how you lived your life.  As what the saying said live life to the fullest because we cannot predict our future, no knows our future if are we going to live long or not for only God the Father knew the future, but in the case of  Benjamin, he knew that he will die as he grows old but it did not hindered him on how he lived his life for as he was living he did lived his life to the fullest.

we all know that God is always there, His there wherever we go we all know that. But we always ignore Him. We even forget him somtimes not just sometimes but everytime we had a great success in our life, but we always remember him everytime we had a drastic,disastrious, painful events in our life.. We call him to save us or to forgive for our sins. Ngano ing-ana man ang mga tao?cant they call on God maskin wala sila ka testing ug mga painful events sa ilang life I also admit na ing-ana sad ko but I realized na I can always lean on him everyday. Maskin naa ko sa kalipay or naa sa kaguol. LIke now in our city, we experienced flashfloods and while listening to the radio, every hour they broadcast a prayer and I realized the prayer is the same all over again..goodness…can’t they from the heart? does it have to be scripted?oh well everybody has its own way of praying…

It has been 2 weeks now that the rain didn’t stop. It affected many people, many lives, houses destroyed, students, and even people went missing and flashfloods. Yes, the rain caused flashfloods then caused water floods, the water floods then destroyed many houses. Flashfloods would not happen if, people including me have take good care of  mother earth, becuase of the mining that happened trees were cut off. is this mother nature’s wrath? Is it God’s wrath? I don’t think so this is our fault.  It’s man fault for not taking good care of the things the God has given to us.  Cut the crap mag bisaya ko.. In my point of view this flashfloods should not happen if kung ang mga tao nag pakabana sa pag liempo sa surroundings, ang isa pud naka caused sa baha is the garabage crap, mostly man jud mga tao kay ga labay lang bisag asa not considering the future consequences, caused and effect lang gud na law.  Rigth now im worried about my relative living 2 or 3 hours from our city, they told us na ang water ni sulod na sa house nila and im just here sittin can’t do anythin and also some of my friends are affected. This should be a lesson sa mga ato mga tao na we should be think more carefully of our actions and be responsible of the consquences that will happen in the future. All i can do rigth now is to pray to God to protect the people who are affected in the disaster.  Dili pa ghapon ko katulog…weee… i can smell the hot chocolate here in our room from the kitchen… PLs pray for us..

weee…good morning…grr..im still sleepy…i went to sleep late 4 a..ahehe…because i was bothered with my math 2..i wasn’t able toget the rigth answer , so i tried my very best to get the exact answer but unfortunately i wasn’t able to solve it…so i went to my brother(kitty) and asked for his help and to my surprise the solution was so simple…grr…so i tried to solve other problem and was satisfied because i know now how to solve it and i may able to answer my midterm exam..ahehe…this morning i woke up around 6…so that could go to school early because if you wont go early…good luck…ahehe…becuase the scenario would be like lining up for the NFA rice…and the finance will close at 12..so i went to school praying that the line is not long enough so that i could eat my breakfas…oh yeah i went to school without eating my breakfast and my stomach was like growling inside..saying “you have to eat”…ahhaha….finally the teller arrived around 8:30… so i was standing and waitin with an empty stomach for 1 hour…goodness…i wanna shout with the teller and tell him that your late your supposed to be here by 8am..but hey im not just nobody in the school…ahehe…the teller is an old man was so slow in typing with the omputer…grr..the school should put someone who can type fast and can count…ahehe…because a 47-49 yrs old man cannot type fast…everyone is in a hurry…its been like this for the whole time in xavier…hmm like 5 yrs…i never seen any progress from the finance….mas mabuti pa ang registrar…ahehe…grr…got to eat….